Life in our house has not been a dull moment, Emma's Chemo is going well and we just had a stable MRI which is all we can ask for at this point in time...now we get to face our next HUGE challenge.
Emma was born with a right leg that was bowed, my mom voice said "That just isn't right" but I was assured that it was fine and would straighten out. Well at 15 months she was climbing up me and fell and I heard a snap. I walked out on the deck and said "Jim she just broke her leg." Sure enough she had. They splinted her and 2 days later we were sitting in a local orthopedics office, he walked in and said "Your daughter has pseudoarthrosis of the tibia. You are looking at years and years of surgeries and you will probably want to amputate by time she is 8. I am sending you to Madison. And he walked out of the room. With us sitting wide eyed and bewildered. And me saying that mom voice was right. Several days later we met the man who is now Emma's Orthopedic Surgeon, he is a wonderful man who can calm us in a minute and told us Emma would be just fine. We swore up and down that we would never be at that point, we would never 'give up'.
Since that day Emma has spent probably close to 1 year in a cast, she has had 4 surgeries-2 major and 2 minor. That leg has atrophied and the foot is 4 shoe sizes smaller. Her leg in the past year has bowed to the point that the rod is sticking out of the bone and will need to be replaced in the next few weeks. How will this surgery go? Well the man who has always calmed us in words says "Just Fine" body language makes me wonder how he really feels.
Then the question in our minds is ""Is it time??" Funny how time makes you realize that it isn't giving up it could be opening Emma up to a whole new life. One where she can sled, she can jump on a trampoline, she can do the monkey bars, ride a bike...the list goes on and on. And yet once the leg is gone....it is gone for ever and there will be a whole other set of issues.
If surgery goes well next week well it won't be an issue because we do have a bigger problem on our hands right now, if not we will be facing one of the hardest decisions of our lives. Yesterday Em said something to me that broke my heart and yet you must understand it was said with a smile in her voice "Mom have you ever broke a bone or had a cast??" Me "No Emma I haven't" "Wow you must have had a great life" What can I say to that??? Would we really be giving up???
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